


Hard to Love?

by lady_castiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Brotherly Love, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, destiel smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-11
Updated: 2015-11-11
Packaged: 2018-05-01 01:46:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5187473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lady_castiel/pseuds/lady_castiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester is desperately in love with Castiel, but he knows the angel could never return his love.  The things he's done weigh heavily on him, so he decides to bury his feelings to maintain their friendship.  That is until Sam decides to intervene.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hard to Love?

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at writing a gentler, more love-focused (rather than lust-focused) story. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Comments and kudos are always appreciated. Feel free to bookmark if you want to come again...

Castiel and Sam were sitting in the bunker’s library, lost in the process of researching a possible case, when Dean came wandering in to see if Sam was hungry. His brother and the angel of the Lord were too engrossed in their books to notice the elder Winchester’s presence at first. Dean stopped dead in his tracks at the foot of the table, admiring the angel as his blue eyes intently moved over the pages in front of him. Something about the way Cas’ dark, messy hair was laying at that moment was unbelievably sexy, and combined with the intensity in his eyes, made the angel one of the most breathtaking sights the hunter had ever beheld.

Dean could’ve stayed there, drinking in that sight, for an eternity, but perfect moments never linger as long as we’d like. Sam suddenly felt his brother’s presence and raised his eyes from the computer screen, startling Dean from his angelic reverie. The slight smile on Sammy’s lips told Dean that his brother had a very clear idea of what was on his mind as the younger hunter broke the silence, “Yes, Dean? Is there something you need?”

Maybe it was just Dean’s imagination, but he was pretty sure from the emphasis on “need” and the shit-eating grin plastered on his face that his little brother was taunting him. “Uh, yeah, just wondering if you’re hungry.”

Without looking up from his book, Cas quickly said, “I don’t need to eat.”

Dean chuckled, “Yeah, Cas, I know. I was actually talking to Sammy.”

“Yes, of course, my mistake, Dean” the angel replied, still not raising his eyes from the page. 

Dean really wished Cas would look up at him, even if it was just for a second, but he needed to focus because Sam definitely was watching him. “Well, Sammy?” Dean said, getting a little annoyed with his brother’s knowing half-smile.

“Yeah, I’m starving. Am I going or are you?” Sam asked, suddenly too distracted by the thought of food to keep teasing Dean.

“I’ll go, so you nerds can stay here with the books. Be back with some burgers in a bit,” Dean replied as he turned and walked towards the door, already gripping Baby’s keys in the pocket of his jacket. Dean was hoping the drive would clear his head a little.

As he started the Impala, the wonderfully familiar sound of Baby’s engine brought him a temporary respite from his thoughts. Dean rolled his window down thinking a little fresh air would be nice, especially since it was such a beautiful day. 

At first Dean’s mind was occupied by the road and the radio, but after driving for a few miles, thoughts of Cas started to creep back into his head: the cute look of confusion he had when he didn’t understand something, the way he refused to back down when Dean was being stubborn, the bitchface he gave you when you took his father’s name in vain. They had been through so much together, seen each other at personal bests and worsts, so it made sense that they would have an intense connection, or as Cas called it “a profound bond.” Still, Dean knew that at some point he’d begun to form an attachment to the angel he never would have suspected he was capable of, and when Cas would disappear for days or weeks at a time, Dean would find himself longing to hear the rustle of feathers announcing his presence. And then there was the powerful mix of joy and relief he felt in the pit of his stomach when the angel would finally show his beautiful face again. 

Dean really had no idea what to make of any of this. It definitely made sense that he would care about Cas—the angel had sacrificed everything time and time again to save his ass and Sammy’s, and that sure as hell warranted a debt of gratitude. At first, Dean chalked it all up to Cas being a part of the family like Bobby, Ellen, and Jo had been, but the truth was that Cas was different, the way he felt about him was different. In fact, part of the truly baffling nature of their relationship was that Dean had never experienced a feeling or a bond like this with anyone else. The closest comparison he could make was to his relationship with Lisa, and when he realized that, Dean began to come to grips with the fact that he was in all likelihood falling in love with his best friend.

As if that didn’t complicate matters enough, Dean knew he was doomed to suffer because of those feelings. Not only had Dean lost pretty much everything and everyone he had ever remotely cared about, making a love of this magnitude absolutely dangerous for his sanity, but the hunter had about a million flaws, each of which he was all too familiar with. There was the drinking, the ego, and let’s not forget those dangerous self-destructive tendencies; as far as he could tell, his middle name should have been either “Sinful” or “Damaged.” And now here he was, completely and irreversibly in love with an angel of the Lord, as if there was even the slightest chance that could work out. Sure, Dean was a great looking guy, and he knew it, but he was miles short of being good enough for Cas even when he was human, let alone now that he was an angel again. He hadn’t even deserved the attention given to him by Castiel when he was pulled out of Hell.

“Shit!” Dean muttered in irritation. He had gotten so lost in his thoughts that he’d driven straight past the diner he’d been planning on getting his and Sammy’s dinner from. He pulled a quick U-turn and headed back, this time managing to stay focused enough to pull into the parking lot. After he turned off the engine, Dean rested his head against the steering wheel, trying to get himself under control. You have to let this go. Cas is a goddamn angel. He’s perfect, and you, you sure as hell aren’t. Not even close. Even Sammy wouldn’t love you if you weren’t blood. 

With that, Dean got out of Baby and headed inside to order some food. While he was waiting, he reminded himself for what had to be the hundredth time that he needed to find a way to deal with this. There was no way he wanted to risk losing his best friend, so the only thing to do was to push it down and bury it. He needed Cas in his life, and if the only way to keep him there was to deny those feelings, Dean would fight tooth and nail to shut them away forever. It might be easier if he could confide in Sammy, but Dean couldn’t risk voicing those feelings. It would give them too much power, make them too real. No, he needed to bury it, but that was starting to seem impossible. Every time he let his guard down for even a second, he found himself daydreaming of Castiel, and even for an experienced hunter it was impossible to be focused and on guard at all times. Some days it was easier than others, but he had to sleep eventually, and when he did, the angel never failed to make an appearance in his dreams.

“Sir?” the cashier at the counter interrupted his thoughts. He looked up to see she was holding a bag that must contain their food. He absentmindedly took his order and thanked her before heading back out to Baby. He could do this, would do it because he had to. Dean Winchester never failed to do what was necessary, and he was determined that this time wouldn’t be any different. On the drive home, he managed to block the angel from his thoughts by cranking up the AC/DC and singing along.

When he got back to the bunker, he paused at the door and swallowed hard, mentally preparing himself in case the angel was still inside with his brother. As he walked inside, he figured the best place to look for the others would be exactly where he left them, so Dean headed directly for the library. His instincts were right on the money because as far as he could tell, Sam hadn’t left his seat. Castiel, on the other hand, appeared to have gone. Dean felt his stomach drop when he looked at the angel’s vacated chair. Seeing Cas was always bittersweet for the hunter, but being without Cas was physically painful.

Dean swallowed hard, trying to push those feelings down as hard as he could before announcing his return to his brother. “Food’s here,” he managed and quickly took a seat across from Castiel’s empty chair. 

“Great!” Sam answered with a smile, finally closing the laptop and pushing it away to make room to eat. Dean pulled the Styrofoam containers out of the bag and handed Sam’s to him. At first, Sam was so famished that all of his attention was focused on the food in front of him, but after 10 minutes or so, he noticed that Dean was uncharacteristically quiet. When he looked over to see his brother more pushing his food around than actually eating it, he knew he had to say something. He had been watching Dean’s sulking for what felt like forever, always keeping his mouth shut because he knew how his brother was when it came to discussing feelings. Things had gone on this way for too long now, and since Dean clearly wasn’t going to do anything about it, Sam felt he owed it to his big brother to lend a helping hand.  
“Cas should be back later. He said Claire prayed and needed his help for something.”  
“I didn’t ask,” Dean said with a slight edge to his voice, which Sam had pretty much expected.

“I know you didn’t, but you can’t pretend you didn’t wonder where he went,” Sam said softly, keeping his eyes trained on his brother. Dean’s green eyes flicked up from his food to settle on Sam’s face for a second; when he saw the concern etched all over his little brother’s face, he quickly dropped the attitude.

“Yeah, sure, I was wondering. It’s not a big deal, though,” Dean said, shrugging and attempting to sound carefree. Sammy, just drop it already. I can’t deal with this right now.

Sam took another bite of his burger, taking a moment to figure out how to approach this conversation. There was really no way that it wasn’t going to be awkward, but he didn’t want to piss Dean off and start a fight either. He swallowed and took a swig a beer before trying again. “Look, Dean, it’s not like I don’t know how much you don’t want to have this conversation, but I can’t sit back and watch this anymore.” Dean was about to say something in response, most likely make an attempt to change the subject, but Sam cut him off. “Just listen for a minute, okay? What I’m trying to say is I know you’re hurting. It’s not like it’s a coincidence that every time Cas is gone for more than a day or two you spend most of that time getting drunk off your ass. And, I’m not trying to force you to confide in me or anything, but something has to give here, Dean. I’m your brother, and it’s killing me to do nothing when I know you’re in so much pain.”

Dean stared down at his food so hard it was a miracle his eyes weren’t burning a hole through the container and the table. This is not happening. This is not happening. But Sam didn’t give up; he kept his eyes locked on Dean, refusing to let his brother weasel out of this talk. Finally, Dean raised his eyes to look at his brother, “Sam, what do you want from me?”

“I want you to be honest with yourself for a start, and it would sure as hell be nice if you would be honest with Cas, too. I’m not blind, Dean. I know how you feel about him whether you’re willing to acknowledge it or not.”

“Wow, Sam! What a great idea!” Dean exclaimed, voice dripping with sarcasm. “I’ll just walk up to our friend, the angel, and tell him I’m in love with him. There’s no way that could end badly, right? Oh, wait, yes it could because angels probably don’t have feelings like that, because even if angels can love, they probably wouldn’t think twice about loving a human, and because even if they did, angels don’t love…guys like me.” His tone was tinged with pain as the last few words came out. He had never meant to give that much of his thoughts to Sam, but it was too late now.

Sam’s voice filled with concern as he said, “Is that what you think? That you’re not good enough for Cas?”

Dean, with his voice low, replied, “Of course I’m not good enough for an angel, Sam, not even one of the dicks, let alone Cas.”

Sam had always known his brother was insecure, but he had no idea how little Dean truly thought of himself until that moment. His brother, the hero, the man who had devoted his life to saving people, to watching out for his younger brother when there was no one else to look out for him, who had literally sold his soul to save Sam’s life, was somehow unable to see himself as anything more than damaged, as anything more than someone who deserved to be abandoned. The realization broke Sam’s heart, and a tear made its way down his cheek in response. “Oh, Dean, that’s not true.” He paused for a few moments, unable to control his shaking voice. “Even if that’s what you think, don’t you feel like Cas should have some say in all this?”

“I can’t risk that, Sammy,” Dean said in a quiet voice before getting up and leaving the library.

 

When Castiel reappeared in the library later that evening, Dean still hadn’t reemerged from his room. Sam had been sitting at his computer, halfheartedly still attempting to do research and hoping that Castiel would keep his word and return because if possible Sam was going to put an end to this tonight. 

Sam’s heart leapt when he heard the fluttering of feathers announcing the angel’s return. With Dean having barricaded himself in his room, Sam was certain of two things. The first was that there was no chance his brother would make an appearance any time soon, and the second was that he would most likely never get a chance like this again. “Hey, Cas, can you sit down? I really need to talk to you about something.”

Cas took a seat as Sam had requested. “Yes, Sam, what is it?”

 

¬¬¬¬¬

Dean had slammed the door behind him after leaving the library and thrown himself down on his bed in defeat. He knew Sammy meant well, but all he had done was stir up more emotional turmoil than Dean knew how to deal with. After years of hunting and killing every supernatural thing he could, Dean Winchester might just die of a broken heart because he had to go and fall in love with a damn angel of the Lord. This was the last thing Dean would ever have seen coming.

A hunter’s life simply doesn’t have room in it for romance. Love is simply too dangerous a thing. Hell, just the love he bore for his brother had led him to sell his soul and spend months (which he had experienced as decades) being tortured by demons after being mauled to death by a hellhound. Familial love was the only kind of love Dean had ever allowed himself to feel, but he’d never put his guard up against Castiel because he had never expected he would fall in love with an angel, especially an angel in a male vessel. As long as it was a secret, Dean had been able to lie to himself, to promise himself he could get over this, but now Sam had done the unthinkable and brought it out into the open. It was too fucking real, and he had no idea when he would be able to face his little brother again.

He lay in the bed for hours, mentally berating himself for being such a mess before he finally fell asleep. Not surprisingly, his dreams were filled Castiel. At first, they were pleasant, but as always, things eventually got darker. His dreams always ended with Castiel walking out on him. Apparently even his subconscious knew that he didn’t deserve the love of an angel. At that moment, Dean was startled out of his sleep by the sound of wings, and he sat bolt upright with a start.

He had to blink his eyes a few times to be sure that Cas was really standing in front of him this time, but it soon became clear this was not another dream when the bed dipped under Castiel’s weight as he sat down. Dean felt his heartbeat speed up at the nearness of the angel, but he couldn’t help wondering what his friend was doing in here.

“Dean…” Cas said, but then words failed him. He sat in silence for a moment, just looking into Dean’s eyes, before he decided words weren’t necessary. He leaned forward and gently kissed the hunter’s lips, only to have Dean abruptly push him away. Cas sat back with a hurt, confused look on his face, and Dean quickly stood up and put some space between him and the angel.

“What are you doing?” he demanded.

“I don’t understand,” Cas said, his voice wounded. “Sam told me that you had feelings for me….” He trailed off, too confused and embarrassed to continue.

“God damn it, Sam just cannot keep his fucking nose out of my business today!” Dean shouted angrily. But the pained look on Cas’ face stopped him cold. His voice was much softer when he said, “Look, Cas, I get it. Sammy told you how I feel, and it made you feel bad for me. It’s fine, Cas. I’m fine, you see? So there’s no need for you to come in here and try to make me feel better.”

With those words, the embarrassment flooded out of Castiel and was replaced with tender concern. “No, Dean, I think you misunderstood me. I was trying to show you that I have feelings for you, too,” he said, blue eyes locking onto Dean.

Dean sighed. How could Sammy have done this? He should have known how guilty Cas would feel after he went on and on, probably made him think I’m in here wasting away. “Cas, it’s ok. You really don’t have to say that. Trust me, I get that you feel bad because of what Sam told you, but I’ll find a way to deal with this. You don’t have to pretend that you feel that way.”

“I don’t understand why you think I’m pretending, Dean. I’m just telling you how I feel; I thought that would make you happy.” As an angel, Castiel often didn’t comprehend certain things humans did and said, but Dean’s behavior was extremely baffling given everything Sam had just told him. But then something else Sam had said clicked in the angel’s mind and made everything crystal clear. “Is this because you think you don’t deserve to be happy?”

Dean sat down on the edge of the bed. Great, so Sam really did just throw everything on Cas’ shoulders. No wonder he’s trying so hard. He tried his best to compose himself. “Cas, I don’t know what Sam told you, but I’m sure he must have exaggerated. Really, you don’t have to do any of this. I will be fine.” He desperately hoped the angel couldn’t sense he was lying through his teeth, but the last thing Dean would ever want would be for Cas to pretend to love him out of some sense of obligation forced onto him by Sam.

Now Castiel was really getting irritated. “Stop being such an assbutt!” he growled. “I am an angel of the Lord, Dean Winchester, and I do not appreciate being accused of lying any more than I appreciate you lying to me!” The angel’s sudden change of mood caught Dean completely off-guard and left him with no idea how to respond. Having silenced Dean, Cas quickly calmed down and turned to the hunter, taking Dean’s face in his hands. “Listen to me, you stubborn fool. I love you, and I know that you love me. I do not understand why you won’t let me show you how I feel.”

Dean felt himself losing control over his emotions, and tears quickly welled up in his eyes. He was truly touched by everything Cas was saying, but nothing could change the fact that he didn’t deserve the angel’s love. He tried to pull away, but a human is no match for an angel when it comes to strength. “Dean Winchester, I know you completely, and you are good enough for me. Stop thinking that you aren’t. I have seen your soul, and in my thousands of years of life, I have never seen anything or anyone that comes close to touching the beauty of it. You have sacrificed everything, including your life and your soul, for the safety of others. You are not only a good man, but a righteous one. Indeed, it may be I, the disobedient angel who turned his back on his brothers and sisters in Heaven, who does not deserve your love, but now that I know you want me too, I will never let you push me away again.” 

With that, Castiel pulled Dean in for another kiss. It started gently and passionately, and this time Dean didn’t pull away. Feeling Cas’ lips pressed so lovingly against his own made the hunter let go of his doubts, and Dean was soon putting all of his pent up love and desire for the angel into that kiss. Before either of them knew what hit them, the kiss turned red hot, Dean’s fingers were running through Cas’ hair, and the lust in the room was almost palpable.

Finally, Dean was forced to break the kiss, desperate to get some air into his lungs. After a moment, Dean started to laugh, causing Cas to tilt his head a bit to the side as he watched the hunter. “Uh, should we…should we talk about this?”

“I thought we already had,” Cas said, confusion lingering on his handsome face.

“No, I mean…there’s really no way to say this without it sounded like we’re in a chick flick. I’m trying to ask if we should talk about what’s going to happen?”

“I was thinking we’d have intercourse. Is that incorrect?”

Dean’s eyes widened slightly in surprise. He probably should have anticipated the angel would misunderstand him since Castiel had obviously never been in a human relationship before, but the hunter was truly taken aback by Cas’ straightforward response. I guess that answers a few of my questions, though. “Cas, I’m trying to ask you what this is. As in, what are we to each other?”

Cas stood silently for a moment, letting Dean’s words run through his mind. Finally, he felt like he understood what Dean was really asking him. “Oh, you want to know what the status of our relationship is?”

“Basically, yes.”

“Well, I love you, and according to Sam, you love me. So, if that’s correct, you and I are lovers?” Something about the combination of his confusion and his complete desire to give Dean the answer he wants caused Dean to smile. “Is that right, Dean?” Cas said with a note of hope in his voice.

“Yes, Cas, that’s right,” Dean replied before sweeping the angel into another kiss. Dean had really meant this to be a simple gesture of love, but lust was quickly taking him over. He licked at Cas’ lips, and when the angel parted them, Dean pushed his tongue inside and began massaging Castiel’s with it. The hunter’s hands seemed to have a mind of their own as they hungrily roamed the angel’s body with abandon. Castiel moaned when Dean’s hands found their way to his ass and gripped it firmly, pulling the bodies tightly together and causing their erections to press into one another. The friction sent pleasure radiating through the hunter’s body. He had wanted this for so long, ached for Cas to hold, to love him, and now that it was really happening, he never wanted it to end. He broke the kiss and placed his hand on the angel’s cheek, gazing at him lovingly. “You are perfect,” he breathed. “Are you sure this is what you want? That I’m what you want?”

“Beyond a shadow of a doubt, Dean.”

“Good,” the hunter said, smiling, “because I don’t think I’ll be able to live without you after this.” With that, he leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on the angel’s forehead and pulled the trench coat off his arms before tossing it onto a chair. He then sweetly kissed Cas again, this time on his jaw and unbuttoning his white dress shirt. “You are beautiful,” he said, his voice almost reverent as he pushed the shirt down off Cas’ shoulders, sending it falling to the floor. Dean leaned in and pressed a kiss on the angel’s collarbone. When he straightened up, he pulled his own t-shirt over his head, and then he whispered, “I am yours.”

Castiel had never seen Dean so open, so vulnerable before, and it touched him deeply. “Dean Winchester, you are all I have ever wanted, and I am yours,” he answered the hunter, blue eyes staring into green ones as Castiel removed his own belt and then Dean’s. Then he circled the hunter’s waist with his arms and kissed him again. 

The heat of their bare skin pressing together and the way Cas’ hands were beginning to run over Dean’s body had Dean’s cock aching in his jeans. When he finally felt he couldn’t take it another moment, he broke the kiss, kicked off his boots, and yanked the confining pants off his body. Cas followed suit, freeing his erection as well. The men then crashed back together, tumbling to the bed. 

Dean landed on top and took advantage of his position to explore Cas in search of sensitive areas. He started kissing down Cas’ neck, and when he turned his attention to the spot right above the angel’s collarbone where his neck met his shoulder; Castiel’s body gave a telltale shiver that told Dean he’d struck gold. He ran his tongue over the spot, causing Cas’ breath to hitch and his back to arch slightly off the bed. The hunter continued kissing down his angel’s body, pausing to suck gently on his right nipple. “Ooooh,” Cas moaned softly, so Dean sucked harder, ran his tongue around the edge of the nipple, and then bit down on a bit. “Dean!” Cas gasped, his gravelly voice filled with lust. That sound made Dean’s cock twitch and strain against his boxers, but he was determined for this to be perfect. He had enough restraint to take it slow because what he wanted more than anything else was to make sure he gave Castiel as much pleasure as he could.

Diligently, the hunter turned his attention to the left nipple, repeating the treatment he’d given the right. The angel’s moans grew louder, and the sound was heavenly as far as Dean was concerned. He licked and kissed his way down Cas’ torso, pausing to plant a kiss at the start of the angel’s dark happy trail. He ran his tongue over it once before removing the white boxers imprisoning Cas’ aching dick. Dean sighed with satisfaction as his eyes finally took in the full sight of his lover’s naked body. Nothing would ever hold a candle to this sight for him, and he got lost in it for a moment. “Dean? Dean, please!” Cas’ voice urged Dean out of his reverie. 

“Sorry, baby, you just took my breath away for a second. Let me see if I can return the favor,” Dean said with a mischievous smirk before he ran his tongue over the tip of Cas’ penis, instantly causing the angel to gasp. Dean’s hands massaged the inside of Cas’ thighs as he licked the angel’s shaft from root to tip. The sounds Castiel made were desperate; he was quickly coming undone with desire. 

“Be patient, baby. We’re getting there,” he whispered as he moved forward. He kissed Cas deeply for a few moments and then yanked open the drawer on the nightstand, pulling out a bottle of lubricant. He moved back to his position between the angel’s legs as he used the lube to slick up three of his fingers. “Ok, this is probably going to feel weird at first, and you have to tell me if you want me to stop,” he said, trying to keep the note of concern he was feeling out of his voice.

“Dean, you’re not going to hurt me. You stabbed me once, and it did nothing, remember?” Cas asked.

Dean laughed uncomfortably. “Uh, yeah, I remember that, although I really don’t want to think about that right now.” Cas sat up and kissed him desperately, quickly driving the unpleasant memory out of the hunter’s mind. Reminding himself he couldn’t hurt an angel, Dean carefully inserted the first of the slick fingers into Castiel, causing the angel to break off the kiss abruptly and moan softly. Dean let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in and relaxed. Gently he began to move the finger in and out.

“Oh, Dean, more!” Castiel urged. There wasn’t much of consequence that Dean Winchester was confident he could give his angel, but those unearthly sounds coming from Cas’ mouth were making the hunter much more certain he that if he could offer Castiel one thing, it was pleasure. For as long as the angel was willing to stick by him, Dean knew he would never stop looking for new ways to please him. It was the one way he felt sure he could repay Cas for how big a pain in the ass he could be.

Dean used his other hand to smooth the wet hair sticking to Cas’ forehead back and leaned in to kiss him. Then he gently added a second slicked-up finger, and Cas bent his head back, his mouth hanging slightly open and bottom lip quivering. “Does that feel alright, baby?” Dean asked, voice filled with need.

“Y-yes, Dean. It’s feels so good,” Cas managed after a moment. Reassured by Cas’ words, Dean began to work his fingers a bit harder and faster as he worked to prep his lover. Castiel was finding it difficult to form coherent thoughts as he got lost in the slight burn and intense pleasure the hunter’s skilled fingers were giving him. This was completely different from his experience with April, which, although the angel couldn’t deny having deeply enjoyed, already paled in comparison to what was happening between him and Dean. As the hunter inserted the third finger, Cas unknowingly started chanting his name over and over like it was the only word he knew: “Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean…”

Hearing his name spoken repeatedly in the angel’s rough, wrecked sounding voice drove Dean absolutely wild. His neglected dick was throbbing to be touched, but he ignored it. This moment was about Cas, and Dean had never been one to put his own pleasure first. As he continued working his fingers, the hunter ran his tongue over each of Castiel’s hipbones, drawing even more desperate noises from the angel. “Yes, baby, that’s it. I love those sounds you’re making,” he said, his voice low and gravelly with lust. 

“Dean, please! I need you!” Castiel begged; Dean’s fingers felt amazing, but they just weren’t enough. He had to have Dean inside him or he was going to lose his mind. “I-I can’t wait anymore. I need you now!” he practically whimpered with desperation.

“Ok, baby, just be patient for one second.” Dean gently removed his fingers and lubed up his long, aching shaft. He lined himself up with Cas’ now empty hole and licked his lip before asking, “Are you sure you’re ready, Cas?”

“Yes! Please, Dean!”

The hunter bit down on his lower lip as he pushed forward. He needed this so badly, but there was no way he was going to force himself in and cause Cas even a moment of discomfort. It took all of the hunter’s not inconsiderable will power to maintain the slow and steady pace as he worked his way in. “Oh, Cas, this feels amazing!” he gasped as he felt himself enveloped in the tightness of his lover. Then he began to move his hips, and if he thought Cas had been coming apart before, the angel proved the hunter had seen nothing yet.

At first, Dean thought the sounds pouring from Cas as he began to thrust into him were just incoherent moans, but as he began to pick up his pace, Cas’ voice grew louder, and Dean realized that the angel wasn’t moaning nonsensical syllables, he was speaking in Enochian. While Dean couldn’t understand the words themselves, the way they were spoken and the way Cas’ body was reacting to his told the hunter everything he needed to know. 

Without thinking, Castiel wrapped his legs around Dean, desperately and unconsciously trying to bring their bodies somehow closer together. He spoke every thought that came into his passion-addled mind. “Dean, you’re so beautiful and so good. I love you. Yes, yes, don’t stop. I need you. I’ve always needed you. I’ll never leave you. I could never leave you. Oh, yes! You’re so good. This is so good. You’re mine. We belong together.” Castiel completely lost in the moment, of course, didn’t realize he was speaking in Enochian and just kept showering Dean with a litany of praise that the hunter simply couldn’t understand.

All at once, the Enochian broke off as Cas’ breath hitched and his back arched off the bed. Dean’s thrust had struck the angel’s prostate, sending an intense, almost earth-shattering burst of pleasure through Castiel’s entire body. Dean had never seen a more beautiful sight. The hunter maintained his position, thrusting harder and faster into that spot; he would give Castiel as much pleasure as his vessel could handle. With every thrust, Dean’s cock hit the bundle of nerves, sending wave after wave of pleasure crashing over the angel. He could feel the pressure building up inside him and as his orgasm burst through his body, he screamed the hunter’s name as his toes curled and his back arched impossibly high off the mattress.   
Knowing that he had satisfied his lover, Dean drove Castiel through his orgasm, and as he felt himself squeezed tighter during the angel’s climax, Dean came hard in response. “Oh, Cas!” he shouted, allowing his own pleasure crash over him.

Dean pulled out and stretched his exhausted body out next to Cas, laying one arm across the angel’s waist. Castiel turned onto his side to face the hunter and placing his hand on Dean’s cheek, guided him in for a tender kiss. “You are amazing,” he whispered, gazing into those beautiful green eyes he adored. Then he leaned forward and rested his forehead on Dean’s, enjoying a sense of contentment so complete that it compared to nothing he had experienced in his thousands of years of existence.

The silence was so peaceful that Dean hesitated for several minutes to break it, but finally his curiosity got the better of him. “Cas?” he said softly.

“Mmmm?”

“What were you saying earlier?” Cas looked at him, clearly confused, leading Dean to explain, “It sounded like Enochian.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize,” the angel replied, cheeks coloring in mild embarrassment. “I was just telling you how beautiful and good you are.” Dean looked away for a moment, but Cas reached out and placed his hand on the hunter’s stubbled cheek, turning Dean’s face back toward him. “Listen to me, Dean Winchester, and listen well because I don’t want to have this argument all the time. Whether you think you are or not, the fact of the matter is I know you are beautiful and good, and I have lived a very long time, so I think I have some idea of what beauty and goodness are. You can continue to be stubborn and refuse to listen to me all you want, but angels do not bestow our love lightly or easily, and I can assure you that I love you very deeply, and there is not one thing about you and what you have done that I do not know.”

Dean’s green eyes filled with tears, and for once, he didn’t argue. He swallowed hard, looked at Castiel, and whispered, “I love you, too, Cas.”


End file.
